Things I'll Never Say
by Shelly LeBlanc
Summary: If I could say what I want to see; I want to see you go down on one knee; Marry me today; Guess I'm wishing my life away; With these things I'll never say


Things I'll Never Say  
Hermione watched Harry as he chatted with Ron about the upcoming Quidditch game. Both he and Ron may have not have noticed the way Harry's dark hair fluttered in the cool breeze of the autumn day, but Hermione did. They were all outside that Saturday morning, taking a break from classes. Hermione sighed and went back to pretending to study on a test that was weeks away. Ron had made fun of her for it. Even after six years, Ron thought she was studying too much. Only half the time Harry would join in the teasing, but not today. He smiled at her, a smile that made her insides melt, and said, "Well, Ron, our Head Girl has to keep up with classes, thought I'm sure she has no problem with that. She's quite possibly is the smartest witch in the world."  
  
Harry's chest puffed out in pride for her. His own chest shown the same badge as hers, since he was Head Boy himself. But Harry was never to show off anything, besides maybe his Firebolt and friends. The Firebolt was undoubtedly the best flying broom in the world. Harry proudly showed the new students whenever they came up him Ron, his best friend and the best damned chess player and one of the best keepers Gryffindor has ever had, besides Oliver Wood. Then he would show off Hermione. Claiming that she was the smartest witch in the world and also one of the prettiest. She would always blush and turn away.  
  
I'm tugging at my hair  
I'm pulling at my clothes  
I'm trying to keep my cool  
I know it shows  
  
After the conversation about the Quidditch match was over, the subject had again turned towards her.  
  
"Hermione, the test is a month away. You can live a little," Ron complained, "You're making me feel guilty."  
  
Hermione narrowed her eyes. "You should."  
  
Ron faked insult. "I have good grades, thank you."  
  
"Thanks to her," Harry stated, grinning. Ron blushed.  
  
"Yeah, well…"  
  
Harry shook his head with silent laughter. "Anyway, Hermione. Maybe you should ask McGonagall to let you take the tests earlier. I bet you already have it all memorized."  
  
Hermione wasn't sure if she went red or white. "N-no! I'm not ready to take the test!" Panic filled her at the thought of taking the test this early. "There is still stuff she hasn't taught yet."  
  
Harry scooted over closer to her and placed an arm around her shoulder in comfort. She wished he hadn't. His touch would send waves of emotions through her body, not all unwanted. She could already feel sweat form from under her bangs.   
  
I'm staring at my feet  
My cheeks are turning red  
I'm searching for the words inside my head  
  
"Sh, it's okay Hermione. I'm was just kidding…really, 'Mione. You do need to relax, you are stressing out. Let's go take a dip," Harry grinned, giving her a small one-armed hug. "It's still warm enough. Come on!" He jumped up.  
  
"But-but," Hermione started to think. She had to get out of it some way. There was studying to do and the thought of looking at Harry in nothing but swim trunks made her uncomfortable. "I haven't got a cozzy."  
  
Ron rolled his eyes. "Yes, you do. I saw you buy one in Hogsmeade last time we went. And even if you didn't, you could always borrow Ginny's. You two are the same size now."  
  
Harry was still grinning at her, but then, he put a pout on his handsome face and pleaded her with his emerald green eyes. She couldn't resist them.  
  
I'm feeling nervous   
Trying to be so perfect  
Cause I know you're worth it  
You're worth it, yeah  
  
So after Harry, Ron, and a reluctant Hermione had raced upstairs and changed into their swimming costumes and ran back down stairs, they were at the edge of the lake on the school grounds. Every student at Hogwarts knew there was a squid in those waters, but they also knew that it was harmless. Harry and Ron, acting more like they were seven than seventeen, ran into the water and jumped in, splashing about and joking while Hermione slowly entered the shallow side of the lake and stayed there. She watched her best friends frolic about, hoping that they had forgotten about her for a moment. If they didn't call to her soon, she was safe to return to the shore and continue her studying.   
  
But just her luck, it was seconds later that Harry spotted. He whistled.  
  
"Hey, Pretty Girl, what are you doing over there when the water over here is so much better?" Harry called out. Ever since the start of their sixth year, Harry started Hermione calling Pretty Girl. She suspected that he was just saying it to tease her, because Ron soon started calling her the same thing, and she knew he was teasing.  
  
Hermione blushed and took a step closer. The water was cool, but not cold. Still, Hermione hesitated. She folded her arms over her chest, which had somehow grown bigger over the summer. Not only had Hermione been teased about being smart, but also flat chested. Now that she had them, she didn't want them. She had to get new robes because they didn't fit her top anymore. Her swimsuit was just a one-piece, but the top was too showy for her taste, especially since she suspected that she grew even more since she had gotten it.  
  
Harry laughed at her reaction and came her way. Hermione froze. It was the last reaction she should have had with a guy like Harry Potter, but her feet wouldn't move. Her eyes went wide as she saw him come at her faster, his glasses sparkling with water and the sun. Finally, she felt her feet unfreeze and turned to leave, but it was too late.   
  
Harry grabbed her waist and hoisted her up. She was now lying in Harry's strong arms, holding onto his broad shoulders in fear that he would drop her. He stared at her face with a dazzling smile, and she was actually glad that he was holding her. If he hadn't, she was sure that her legs would have given away. He had a wonderful smile.  
  
If I could say what I want to say  
I'd say I want to blow you away  
Be with you every night  
Am I squeezing you too tight?  
If I could say what I want to see   
I want to see you go down on one knee  
Marry me today  
Guess I'm wishing my life away  
With these things I'll never say  
  
They stared at each other for a few moments before Harry started moving her towards the part of the lake Ron was at. Hermione knew it was coming but couldn't stop. Harry's grip on her was tight and no matter how Hermione could struggle, she couldn't get out of it.   
  
The water was always colder if one was to fall in unexpectedly. Even though Hermione had expected it, it still came as a shock to her. She surfaced sputtering and coughing up water. She heard Ron's laughter on her left and glared at him. Then Hermione proceeded to look for the person who dumped her.   
  
Harry was no where in site.   
  
For a second Hermione felt a pang in her heart. Then it turned into fear when she felt something grab her waist again and shouted a big "Boo!" at her. She screamed and pressed her hand against her heart as she turned to the man with startling green eyes. A grin spread across Harry's face when he saw his accomplishment was done.   
  
Hermione narrowed her eyes at him. Then, thinking and acting quickly, she snatched the glasses off of her crush's nose and dived under the water, escaping him before he realized what had happened. She knew it wouldn't take long, for Harry Potter had amazing reflexes.  
  
It don't do me any good  
It's just a waste of time  
What use is it to you what's on my mind  
  
Even without his glasses, Harry had found her quickly, with the help of Ron she suspected. Harry caught Hermione's thin leg. Hermione surfaced after she kicked Harry off. She felt her feet touch the ground and stood. Putting the hand that had his glasses behind her back, she turned around to face him. Her heart thumped loudly inside of her. He looked good even without his glasses.   
  
"May I have my glasses back?" He asked in a polite voice. He had made his eyes big and for a short while he resembled a courteous child. It was getting harder to breath.  
  
"What's the magic word?" Hermione asked, forming the answer in her head. Kiss me!  
  
If it ain't coming out  
We're not going anywhere  
So why can't I just tell you that I care?  
  
Harry grinned and squinted his eyes whenever he was thinking. Hermione tried to steady her breathing, hoping he was just thinking she was out of breath from the swim. The squinting stopped and a smirk crossed his face.  
  
"I know," He said. Then he leaned over and said. "Accio glasses!"  
  
Hermione felt her hand pull from behind her to Harry's hand. Neither of them had realized that Hermione's grip on the glasses was strong and the glasses wouldn't be able to slip from her fingers easily. Neither did Hermione managed to grasp how Harry was able to do it without his wand. But the thought was lost a second later when she caught his eye again. She stared, enchanted with the playfulness and the hit of glee shinning from those eyes.  
  
So that's how they spent a few moments, Harry holding the hand Hermione that was holding his glasses staring at each other.   
  
Cause I'm feeling nervous  
Trying to be so perfect  
Cause I know you're worth  
You worth it, yeah  
  
Finally Harry took the glasses out of Hermione's hand with his other hand and put it back on his face. He never let go of her hand. He enclosed it around hers again and without turning his eyes from her, guided her towards the shallow of the lake and they both sat in the shadow of the water, hand in hand.  
  
Millions of things filled Hermione's head. Pleas and wishes and secret confessions were at the top of the list. Pleas to anybody who would listen for her to stop thinking of Harry, wishes that he would notice her and confessions of love that had never said out loud.   
  
She, Hermione Granger, smart girl with frizzy hair and bossy attitude, was in love with Harry Potter, the brave and handsome savior of the Wizardry world.  
  
If I could say what I want to say  
I'd say I want to blow you…away  
Be with you every night  
Am I squeezing you too tight?  
If I could say what I want to see   
I want to see you go down…on one knee  
Marry me today  
Guess I'm wishing my life away  
With these things I'll never say   
  
Hermione had never been at a loss for words in her life, until she returned one summer from break and saw that the man before her was actually the boy she'd known a few months back When she saw the boyish lines on his face turn rugged and lean. When the dark hair had stopped being just untidy to a sexy, unruly style. When knobby knees and skinny body started to turn into muscles and hard curves. When the glasses stopped being dorky and started being…hot.   
  
When Harry Potter turned fifteen.  
  
Since then, she sank deeper and deeper in obsession of him. When she thought he couldn't be more sweet and caring, she was proven wrong when he punched Malfoy in the nose for turning Hermione's cat, Crookshanks, into a toad. Harry had spent a week cleaning toilets by hand and had refused Hermione offer to help him. Hermione's cried that night because she didn't run up to him and give him a kiss like she had wanted.  
  
When Hermione thinks he couldn't get any braver, he nearly kills himself when he goes to fight Voldemort to save Hogwarts and its occupants from total destruction. Returning injured but alive, he went immediately to Dumbledore, then to Ron and herself before going to the nurse. He blushed feverishly at the thank you's he received and pushed away rewards. He hugged both of his best friends and cried because he was so glad that they were safe.   
  
When Hermione thinks Harry couldn't be any cuter, he goes and smiles and makes her heart melt.  
  
She wished she could say all these things, but they never left her tongue.  
  
What's wrong with my song  
These words keep slipping away  
I stutter, I stumble  
Like I've got nothing to say  
  
Harry stared deeply into her big brown eyes. He gave her a small smile that made his eyes twinkle. They were so close that Hermione was certain Harry could feel her heart thumping loudly. She tried to calm her breathing, which had only gotten worse since he took her hand.   
  
Suddenly, one of Harry's hands found it's way to her face. His index finger traced the outline of her face, then her chin and mouth. His smile widened as he reached her nose.   
  
"What's going on in that cute head of yours?" he asked, taping his finger on her nose, which made her giggle.  
  
Hermione didn't answer though, she had it all in her mind what she wanted to say, but they wouldn't come out. Why couldn't she say anything?  
  
Suddenly, without Hermione seeing it coming, Harry's face came closer and their lips touched. The only way Hermione could describe it was that the lightning bolt scar that was on Harry's forehead became real. It shot off his forehead to his lips and passed onto her and through her whole body. She felt her body jolt and suddenly she was in his lap, continuing the kiss. His arms had found themselves around her upper body, holding her close to him. Hermione lifted her hands and brought them to Harry's face, cupping them.   
  
They parted a while later and stared at each other. Suddenly it all became clear.  
  
If I could say what I want to say  
I'd say I want to blow you…away  
Be with you every night  
Am I squeezing you too tight?  
If I could say what I want to see   
I want to see you go down…on one knee  
Marry me today  
Guess I'm wishing my life away  
With these things I'll never say…  
  
"I love you, Harry. I have loved you for two years now," Hermione said to him, tears running down her face. Her secret was out.  
  
Even thought they had just kissed, she was surprised to see the smile on his face.  
  
"About damn time you told me. I thought I was forever to be stuck with unrequited love."  
  
Hermione stared at him, wide-eyed and mouth hanging open. Harry laughed and kissed her nose.   
  
"See, you look beautiful even when you look dumb-stuck. Who would have thought?" Harry teased. Beautiful, he had said.   
  
Hermione grinned and pushed him into the water. She guessed that she wasn't wishing her life away after all.  
  
The End  
  
Song: Thing I'll Never Say  
Artist: Avril Lavigne 


End file.
